Misfits Assemble
by Courier999
Summary: COBRA and the Brotherhood of Mutants have teamed up. GI Joe has a new weapon against them: the Misfit Mutants. Set in my AU of Red Witch's "Misfits Universe". Rated T for language and violence. R&R!
1. Chapter 1

MISFITS UNIVERSE: Misfits Assemble

 _GI Joe,_ _Transformers_ , _Jem_ , and related characters are property of Hasbro. _X-Men_ , _Spider-Man_ , _Avengers_ , and related characters are property of Marvel. This is set in my AU of Red Witch's "Misfits Universe".

Chapter 1: Deadliest of Foes

COBRA ISLAND:

"Commander, it is a pleasure to see you again."

"Likewise, Magneto! What brings you here? Business or pleasure?" Cobra Commander replied.

"Business. I was thinking- we share some common enemies. Maybe we should join forces."

"Err…"

"Mister DeCobray, I can assure you that it will be mutually beneficial. You provide me with troops and hardware, and I give you superhuman engines of destruction." Magneto offered.

"You've got a deal- on one condition."

Magneto cocked an eyebrow.

"I get first pick on your guys!"

"Seems reasonable, Commander. You have a deal."

The two leaders shook hands.

"Now, my first pick: oh, let's go with the Maxinoff twins and Lady Deathstrike!"

Magneto nodded and took a seat. At that moment, Destro entered with a tea tray.

"Refreshments, Mister Lehensherr?"


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: The Team

THE PIT:

"You Blob a hindrance! Me Grimlock should have left you for that Sentinel!"

"You wouldn't have!"

"Me Grimlock said _should_! Not _would_! Besides, that Sentinel would have hard time trying to take you Blob away! Him Toad on the other hand…"

"What're you running your vocoder about, tin lizard!" came the reply.

"Me Grimlock not tin lizard! Me Grimlock king!"

Blob and Toad stared at each other.

"Now, where her Wavedancer and them Trinity? Me Grimlock want to show them new combat tactic!"

"What is it this time? Hit someone with your tail as opposed to jumping up and stomping on them? Or actually transforming into that robot mode of yours?" Toad snarked.

"When her Lightspeed show up, me Grimlock will show you!"

As if on cue, a blue blur of acceleration bolted into the former hangar that GI Joe's new mutant team used as a training facility. The blur came to a stop, revealing itself to be the blue-haired Holograms keyboardist known as Aja Leith.

"Dukes, Tolensky- Lady Jaye wants to see you."

"But-"

"No buts. I've got a few hours before I need to run back to LA, and I'm not going to argue with you two."

"B-" Toad began.

As if on cue, Lady Jaye walked in.

"Well, glad to see some of you are here." she piped up.

"Where them Trinity and her Wavedancer?" Grimlock asked.

"They're on their way."

"But me Grimlock want to show them new combat tactic!"

"You can show me, big guy." Jaye cooed.

Grimlock's optics lit up.

"Me Grimlock call it Fastball Special-"

"You stole that from the X-Freaks!" Blob interrupted.

"This different Fastball Special! Now, you Lightspeed please get into fetal position-"

Aja nodded as she did so.

"Now, me Grimlock pick her Lightspeed up-"

Grimlock proceeded to do so.

"-and throw her at the enemy!"

The Dinobot's arm wound up, and Aja went flying through the air.

"Ooh…kay. Now w-"

Aja uncurled herself in midair before hitting the ground running.

"That Grimlock's Fastball Special!"

Lady Jaye, Toad, and Blob applauded.

"Anyways, I came to tell you that you bozos have an assignment."

"We not bozos! We Misfit Mutants!" Grimlock protested.

"Whatever. As I was saying, you've got an assignment. COBRA seems to have teamed up the Brotherhood of Mutants, and they've got something going on in upstate New York ."

Aja tensed up.

"Why not leave this to the Avengers? Or the X-Men? Or the rest of GI Joe?"

"Because Hawk's told me this is the point where I either put up or shut up on this little bridge club."

* * *

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Here's my lineup for the Misfits (or the Misfit Mutants, as not to be confused with the Holograms' rivals):

Lightspeed (Aja Leith- she's a reservist unlike in the pilot of eva unit 4's fanfics)

Grimlock (N/A- also a reservist because of Autobot business)

Toad (Todd Tolensky)

Blob (Fred Dukes)

Wavedancer (Althea Delgado- still Shipwreck's kid, but by another mother than in Red Witch's original Misfits universe)

Trinity (Daria, Brittany, and Quinn Delgado- see parenthetical for Wavedancer)


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Put Up Or Shut Up, Part 1

UPSTATE NEW YORK:

"Were Althea and I the only ones paying attention during the briefing?" Aja asked.

"Me Grimlock paid attention!" came a reply from beneath the helicopter.

"So did I." Grunt added.

Toad and Blob looked up at the inside of the Tomahawk.

"Great. Just as I thought." Aja griped.

"So…what's the plan?" Toad asked.

"It's simple. We're taking out a COBRA airfield. While we're at it, we're bringing in some of Toad's old friends-" Aja began.

"Wait, what?"

The Misfits' resident speedster shot her smaller cohort a death glare.

"You heard me. We're bringing in the Brotherhood members that COBRA's using as superpowered goons."

"Which ones?" Blob asked.

"Quicksilver, Scarlet Witch, Avalanche, and Pyro." Grunt answered.

"Moving on- we've got about a company's worth of Vipers milling around, plus the Iron Grenadiers and associated cybernetic assets. That and we've got defensive landscaping to deal with, namely an electric fence and a moat filled with…snapping turtles?" Aja continued.

"Cheaper than alligators, I guess. That or Trinity's screwing with us." Ace muttered from the cockpit.

* * *

HALF AN HOUR LATER:

"We're just outside the base's RADAR window. Misfits, Grunt- deploy." Ace ordered.

Grimlock was released from the underside of the Tomahawk, which promptly landed. The passengers proceeded to disembark and continue towards the airfield on foot.

"So, how are we-" Toad began.

"You're going into the moat, Tolansky. According to the schematics, there should be a storm drain for you to crawl inside and get within the base perimeter." Wavedancer replied.

"And then what?"

"You get to the power box and use your wire cutters, letting us in. Or if we think you get captured, we send in the Blob." Aja snarked.

"Hey! Just because I've got invulnerable skin doesn't mean I _like_ being electrocuted!"

"Me Grimlock can sympathize!"

* * *

MEANWHILE, IN THE AIRFIELD BARRACKS:

"Run that by me again, Mystique."

" _Alvers, due to the new Brotherhood-COBRA alliance, certain…personnel changes are needed._ "

"Oh, and I guess _I'm_ on the chopping block." Lance grumbled.

" _If it's any consolation, your replacement has your powers. His name's Dominikos Petrakis, and he's more subservient than you. And far better looking._ "

Lance turned off his walkie-talkie and crushed it.

"So this is how I get repaid for my service. Replaced by some Greek pretty boy who's kissing Mystique's behind every step of the way-"

* * *

"OW OW OW!"

Aja's face met her palm as Toad leapt out of the water of the moat, a snapping turtle firmly attached to his arm.

"So much for stealth." she muttered.

Wavedancer smirked as she manipulated a spherical mass of water out from the moat and lobbed at a nearby fusebox. Almost immediately, the fence shorted out.

"Grimlock, you do the honors."

Grimlock proceeded to jump across the moat and flatten a good portion of the fence on impact.

"Bravo, Grimlock! Truly, thou art akin to the flicker of a candlelight shadow!" Aja snarked.

As if on cue, an air raid siren began blaring.

"What the-" Toad began as he crawled out of the moat.

Suddenly, there was a silver blur racing towards the Misfit Mutants.

"Nah. It can't be-"

"Miss me?" a familiar voice asked.

Blob and Toad stared as their old friend Quicksilver stood before them.

"Pietro? What are you-"

"Brotherhood business. Let's rock, shall we?"

Aja bolted towards Quicksilver in a blue blur of acceleration.

"No fair! You can't have a speedster! There can be only one!"

Aja proceeded to turn around and clock Pietro square in the jaw.

"Egotistical git." she muttered as she surveyed his unconscious form.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Put Up Or Shut Up, Part 2

"Oh, come on! You can't be serious about this!" one of the Iron Grenadiers complained.

"It's true, Sawbones. COBRA's own troops are taking a drubbing thanks to the Joes' new mutant joy-luck club-" a woman replied.

"For the love of God, Goshawk! What about the Brotherhood goons?"

"Quicksilver's down, Scarlet Witch's sulking in the barracks, Pyro's in the stockade, and nobody's seen Avalanche in the last twenty minutes."

Sawbones scowled as he realized that he'd have to be taking on superhumans personally.

"Get Psi-Spy and Metal-Head. We'll show those dime-store flunkies how the Iron Grenadiers get things done."

* * *

"Me Grimlock love smashing COBRA buildings!"

"Me too!" Blob proclaimed.

With a single swipe of his tail, Grimlock utterly demolished a small building. Standing there in the rubble was Pyro, a look of irritation on his face.

"And just when I thought I was getting some reading d- Blob! What brings you into this neck of the woods?"

"We're taking you in, Pyro! Now surrender peacefully or else!"

"Or else what? You wouldn't hurt an old friend, would you?"

"Me Grimlock not know you! So me Grimlock stomp you Pyro for him Blob!"

Pyro gulped as he put his hands up.

* * *

"Freeze right there!"

Wanda Maxinoff, the dreaded Scarlet Witch, turned to face the man who had ordered her to freeze.

"Who the hell are you?" she asked.

"Call me Grunt. I'm from GI Joe, and I'm under orders to take you alive."

Wanda smirked as she readied her hex bolts.

"Don't try anything funny, Scarlet Witch. I've got a loaded M4 aimed at your heart."

Wanda gulped as Grunt drew closer and handcuffed her.

"Last up is Alvers, wherever he is." the latter mumbled.

As if on cue, a series of footsteps was heard. Grunt instinctively drew his sidearm as Lance Alvers rounded the corner.

"You the one they call Avalanche?"

Lance nodded.

"Put your hands up."

"No need. I'm coming with you willingly."

Grunt nodded and reached for his walkie-talkie.

"I've got Scarlet Witch and Avalanche. Any other reports?"

" _Me Grimlock and him Blob have him Pyro!_ "

" _This is Lightspeed reporting. Wavedancer and I have moved Quicksilver away from the base. Anything you want us to do now?_ "

"Smash the base up once we've got all prisoners moved to the Tomahawk."

As Grunt put away his walkie-talkie, another set of footsteps was heard.

"I remember you. You ruined my fun at Castle Destro." a young woman proclaimed to Grunt.

"Psi-Spy." came the reply.

"Ding ding ding! Give the man a prize! And by prize I mean I'm going into your noggin-"

Lance's powers flared up and the barracks began to shake.

"Screw it, I'm outta here!" Psi-Spy exclaimed.

And with that, the Iron Grenadier vanished into thin air with a flash of light.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: Put Up Or Shut Up, Part 3

 _Three against one. All they've got are guns._ Aja thought as she surveyed the remaining Iron Grenadiers.

"Open fire!" Sawbones ordered.

 _Before they can even pull the trigger, I'm in my speed-state._

The trio of Iron Grenadiers fired a salvo at Aja.

 _One perk of being a speedster is that you get to see things in bullet time. Meaning that these bozos can shoot at me until they run out of ammo and all I have to do is sidestep, duck, jump, and otherwise get myself out of the way._

Goshawk and Metal-Head gawked as their target turned into a seemingly stationary blue blur. In actuality, the blue blur that was Aja was ducking and weaving and otherwise dodging the incoming rounds. After about a minute, the salvo stopped.

 _Good. They're out of ammo. Time to give 'em a ride on the Lightspeed Express._

"The speedster's coming right for u-" Metal-Head began.

Before he could finish, the Grenadiers' heavy weapons expert felt himself go flying as Aja's fist met his face.

"What the devil?" Sawbones sputtered.

Before Goshawk could reply, she too went flying from a super-speed punch.

"Sod this." Sawbones muttered.

Before Aja could take him on, Sawbones disappeared in a flash of light, as did the two others who were sprawled out on the ground.

"You win some, you lose some." she muttered.

Just then, there was an explosion in the background as the base's magazine and fuel tanks blew up.

" _Me Grimlock king!_ " a familiar voice bellowed in the background.

Another explosion indicated that the aircraft had just been destroyed.

 _Guess Toad found a use for that plastic explosive after all._

Suddenly, the Earth itself began to shake, and the bulk of the remaining structures collapsed.

 _What the-_

Just then, Aja felt her walkie-talkie go off.

" _Lightspeed-_ "

"Grunt, what just happened? Why was there an earthquake?"

" _Alvers. Said he was on our side now._ "

"What."

" _Look, let's just get out of here. The airfield's pretty damn useless now._ "

"Affirmative. Lightspeed out."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6: New Recruits

THE PIT:

"What do you mean, I'm locked out of this conference?" Aja griped.

"Hawk's orders, Miss Leith. You may be the oldest, but Althea was on the team first. As such, she's the official leader and she'll be deciding whether the four new mutants get to join the team or whether they get shipped off to the authorities." Duke replied.

Aja groaned as the conference room door shut before her.

* * *

"Hey, how come _they_ don't have to wear the inhibitor cuffs?" Quicksilver griped, pointing to Avalanche and Scarlet Witch.

"They came along without any real resistance. You didn't." Grunt replied.

Pietro scowled as the other Joes and Althea took their seats.

"Now, the first order of business is to decide the fate of the four prisoners taken by the Misfit Mutants and Grunt during the raid on the airbase." Hawk proclaimed.

"I say we turn them over to the proper authorities. Let's be real here- these four aren't as harmless as Tolensky or Dukes. In fact, let's start with Pyro's file. His criminal record is a long trail multiple accounts of arson of all degrees, reckless endangerment, destruction of property-" Beach Head began.

"Get to the point! I'm not getting any younger!" Doc snapped.

"My point is, trying to reform these four is a waste of time! Send Pietro Maxinoff and Pyro to prison and get it over with!"

"What about Alvers and Pietro's sister?" Duke asked.

"I say we let Alvers join the team. According to Grunt's report, he's apparently got no love for the Brotherhood now that Mystique's replaced him with a newer model."

"What about the Witch?" Beach Head snarled.

"She's joining the team." Hawk replied.

An awkward silence settled over the room.

"Are you high?" Snake Eyes and Althea asked in unison.

"No. I'm being sensible. Anyone who can alter reality and probability is too valuable an asset to pass up."

Another awkward silence settled over the room.

"Where Wanda goes, I go!" Pietro piped up.

"What's that, Skippy? You say I should join this team too? Great idea!" Pyro yelled.

Hawk groaned.

"Fine. Let them join the Misfit Mutants." he sighed.

He then turned to Duke.

"Hauser, get me a drink. I need one."

* * *

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Pyro's mention of "Skippy" is a reference to the classic late 1960s/early 1970s Australian children's TV series _Skippy the Bush Kangaroo_. For those less versed in Marvel lore, Pyro's homeland is Australia.


End file.
